Hold Your Babies, Mamas

The last week has been filled with heartbreak. A family friend recently lost their baby; he was about a year and a half old. I only know this family by name, but being a mother is a bond that reaches through space and time.

I cannot imaging losing a child, losing my baby. I have wept for this family more times than I can count. I prayed and I screamed and I sobbed for this family.

If there is one thing I learned from this tragedy, it is to truly cherish every moment I have with my daughter. Tomorrow is not gaurenteed. I have heard people say to not coddle my baby, to not rock her to sleep--that I'm spoiling her if I do.

I never paid those people much mind--she is my child, not theirs, after all--but now more than ever, I will rock her to sleep. I will cradle her face and soak in as much of her as I can.

My heart hurts so badly for this family. I cannot bear to think about it. So I write instead.

Mama

My body aches for you mama
I clutch my little one to my chest
and I cry into her hair
for as long as she will let me

My heart has screamed for you
because this is bitter and wrong
A mother should never have to bury a child
A mother should never have to bear that kind of parting

Each night that I rock my child to sleep
I imagine the last time you put yours to bed
Not knowing it was really the last time
Not knowing that goodnight would become goodbye

I wonder what color his pajamas were
and if they were his favorite
I wonder what he thought about
and if his hair still smelled like shampoo

I do not know you, mama, we have never met
But this weight in my chest is agony
There is sorrow that burns beneath my ribs
I do not know you mama, but we are bound by name

We are mama
We are the name screamed in the night
to wipe away tears and soothe bad dreams
I can't imagine the nightmare you wake to each day

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Please help this family if you can.