Drivers, drivers everywhere (and most of them quite terrible)

So I fully intended to blog about Insanity today, but I did that yesterday and the drive home was mostly filled with outrage at traffic. I would like to present exhibit A:

You see that spot, just slightly less than the width of le douchebagious maximus's car? Yes. Not a space pour vous douche bagious maximus. So why on earth did you think it was a good idea to merge? You looked at me, I saw. We made eye contact, and yet instead of acknowledging safe driving distance does not = place for your hoopty, you go ahead and do it anyway.

Yes, I may be a woman significantly smaller than you, but bitch please I will lay on my horn and scream at you like a crazy person whose commute is way too long. You want to get all huffy because I called you out on your douchebaggery? Be my guest.

On that note, people who are afraid of exhibit A happening--please do not become exhibit B

Yes, I understand car behind me, you also detest the douchebagious maximus, but for the love--do not erase safe driving distance and ride my ass like you mean for my Camry and your Civic to spawn a hybrid. You are far more likely to rear end me than actually deter the douchebaggious maximus. He will fade over anyway at some other point, most likely without a turn signal.

Also, come on people. Use your damn turn signals. I do not possess psychic powers, I do not know when you are suddenly going to be overtaken by the urge to drift into my lane. Do not give me that look of shock and anger (like you have any right, puhlease), you are the moron who didn't use a turn signal.

And one final thing: right on red people. I can see your license plate, I know you are from this state and should be well aware of this law. So turn already.

Normally, these things do not annoy me. Normally, they only happen every now and then, but today all of them were witnessed and my husband is in the field (to be read as: I am in a shit mood) so I am slamming down the bad driving hammer.

Also, bitches at work need to replace the damn creamer if they use the last of it. If your hoity toity ass is too good to go downstairs and get the replacement, then you don't get to have free office coffee. This isn't starbucks and I am not a barista. Go buy your coffee if you are that lazy (or that entitled).

*end scene*