9 Months Old: Taking Steps, Growing Teeth, and Traveling

November was a big month for baby E. She got her first tooth a few weeks ago, took her first steps the day after Thanksgiving, and then cut her second tooth the day after that.

She is becoming increasingly difficult to photograph lying down. Why on earth would she lie flat on her back when she can crawl away, pull up on the sofa, or try and catch the cat? I finally had to bribe her with Patience the Pink Pony.

Here are some outtakes

I will smile, but I'm not gonna unbend my knees

You get the butt.

We spent Thanksgiving with some of my extended family in Colorado. E got to meet a lot of cousins and a Great Uncle. She'd already met her Great Aunt Lori, but she was just a wee lassie (because she's old now?).

Kinda pixelated, but I love her little expression!

Here she is with her cousin James :) She liked to stare at his beard.

I FaceTimed with the rest of my extended family and immediate family throughout the day. Each phone call provided more and more entertainment as the drinks flowed more freely.

After Thanksgiving, we went out to lunch with my cousin Julie. Julie has known me my whole life, but I've never made it out to Colorado until now. She bought E a super cute coat for the winter.

Here is the coat!

Who needs knuckles when you can just have indents instead?

E also got to meet another baby her age. She gave him kisses and then stole his toys. How nice of her. She loves other babies, but I guess she loves their toys more.

She had her nine-month well baby visit, and everything was good there. We are getting her a stinky helmet tomorrow. I'm not looking forward to it at all. Apparently, the babies don't mind them after the first couple of days, but I mind it because she isn't going to be snuggly anymore. Oh well, it will help fix her funny shaped head.

We're also going to PT for her torticollis. It's gotten a lot better, but it's still present. Hopefully with some more work at home we can get rid of it entirely.

I've also happened upon my new favorite second-day hair style. Ever since giving birth, I've had significantly less time to play with my hair (imagine that). My hair is curlt and ridiculous, so I can't just wash-and-go. I can slp it up into a messy bun, but that gets old fast.

Bobby pin the top section of your hair up into a poof, then grab two large sections from either side of your head and bind them with a hair elastic. Split it in two above the elastic and flip the ponytail up and over through the middle. Repeat once more.

Grab the remaining hair and flip it through the last section you tied off and pin it in place. I had to flip mine through twice since I have longer hair.

I pulled out some tendrils to hang around my face because, in the immortal words of my Aunt Wennie, "I'm classy as shit."

The next time I do this, I'm going to be more cognizant of my bobby pins holding my poof so they aren't so sloppy. I also need to get some clear elastics. Regardless, easy and quick second day hair that doesn't look like a blob on top of my head.

8 Months Old: Mobile Baby, DIY Projects, and House Decorations

Why smile when she can just chew her fingers? -_-

About 2 days after E's 7 month blog post, she became a crawling machine. She also pulls herself up onto things now as well. So far it hasn't been as bad as every claimed it would be:

It's on now!

Now you're in trouble!

You're in for a whole new world!

*insert other pieces of doom and gloom*

A mobile baby does certainly keep things interesting. We baby proofed a little bit when we first moved into the new house (electric socket plugs, a baby gate in front of stairs, locks on cabinets with toxic stuff in them, etc).

That covered the majority of the stuff I didn't want her getting into. We still have issues with spatial awareness (you mean my head can't go through the wall?), so she still bonks her head from time to time. Otherwise, we just shut our bedroom and hall bathroom doors, and she is free to roam as she pleases in relative safety.

After she became mobile, we started to notice a couple of areas of concern. Primarily the internet modem cables and my computer cables. E likes to chew on everything (no teefies yet), and for some reason she thinks cables, wires, and other electrical stuff if the best thing to try and chew. Rather than constantly fight her on the matter, I decided to hide the cables instead. Out of sight, out of mind.

For the modem, I got a large basket with two holes cut out for handles. Then I threaded the modem and cables through the holes to keep the electrical components out of reach. At least until she learns how to untie a bow, haha. For now, she can't see the shiny metal or blinking modem lights, so she ignores it.

My work area took more work to baby-proof than the modem. With the help of some big binder clips, screws, and a little basket, I was able to get all the cords up off the floor. Organize all the cable wires!

The basket holds the charger/power bricks. The binder clips and the power strip are screwed into the underside of the desk. If you are going to attempt something like this yourself, be sure to measure your desk. My desk is about 3/4 of an inch thick, so I used 1/2 in screws to make sure they didn't come poking out of the top.

Computer cable organization!

I also did another much more fun DIY project. I finally made E a shadow box. My mom gave me the idea awhile ago, but I never had the time to get around to it until now.

This project was pretty simple. I got the shadow box at TJ Maxx and the cardstock and push pins came from Hobby Lobby. The picture is baby E at 18 hours old along with her footprints, hospital band, and the socks she came home in. I wanted to use her baby dress she came home in as well, but the shadow box isn't large enough to accommodate that. Oh well. I still think it is super cute.

House Updates

Josh had to work two weekends in a row, so I decided to be productive and finally decorate the house. It looks like real people live here now, yay!'

My Office

We kept this pretty basic and empty. We plan on being here for 3 years, so we will likely have another kid in that time frame. I want us all on the main floor, so my office will move to the basement once that happens. For now, it's sparsely decorated to make it easier to transition later.

Painting by my uncle Mike :)

E's shadow box!

The Nursery

I'm not thrilled with the setup, but it works.

Master Bedroom

Our master is smaller than our last, but we got the dressers to fit. I hate our closet doors. They're on tracks, but they constantly get derailed.

Kitchen 

Busted out the fall decorations :D

Pumpkin table cloth.

Pumpkin ladle holder.

Little pumpkin salt and pepper shakers!

Upstairs Living Area

Family wall <3 I also love this little bench.

Downstairs Living Area

The houses in Utah are so strange. They are two level for the most part, but they either are a main level with an upstairs or a main level with a basement. Never all three. We have a main level with a basement. 

New chairs! I love them :D

Zooming in on that glorious glass pumpkin.

And there is our house all decorated!

You're Pregnant!...Now what?

As more days begin to pile up between giving birth and the present, I find I am forgetting what it is like to be pregnant (not labor, whoever says you forget that is a filthy liar).

I don't want to forget what it is like to be pregnant because people like to ask me a lot of questions about pregnancy, labor and delivery, etc. This may or may not be because I have way too many (totally awesome) resources when it comes to all things baby.

I also spent way too much time on the internet researching all things baby while preggers. As my father put it, "You know way too much about this. You aren't supposed to know all this. If women knew all this, they would never get pregnant."

There is some truth to that statement, but I am a fierce lioness (I am woman, hear me roar), so all the terrible things I learned about childbirth didn't phase me (much). They actually aren't terrible, it just hurts a lot. Most people already know that anyway, I just knew a lot of the science behind it. For me, knowing exactly what my body was going to do and why gave me a sense of control.

In the end, I had the natural childbirth I wanted. Again, LIONESS. ROARING. Even if I didn't have the childbirth I wanted, I would still be roaring because I made a tiny human and brought her into the world.

Anyway, back to the point. Everyone knows childbirth is hard. We don't call it Sit Back and Sip a Beer, we call it Labor. It is work.

Pregnancy is a whole different kind of difficult. From the instant you announce your pregnancy, you become a magical unicorn.

You do not want to be a magical unicorn. Here is why.

1. You become public property. 

People will want to touch the belly. I didn't start to show at all until 24 weeks, and I did not look like a true pregnant person until a little after 30 weeks.

Didn't matter.

People wanted to touch my flat stomach, my slightly poochy stomach, and my super pregnant stomach.

Strangers, friends, family - everybody - will want to touch The Belly. You are pregnant (you magical unicorn, you) and for some reason, everybody wants to horn in on your pregnancy.

Don't get me wrong, sometimes it is nice to bask in the glow of pregnancy. If you've given the ok, then by all means, let that person rub the belly. I'm talking about the uninvited belly rubber.

You can fend these people off in a variety of ways. Here were my go to's:

"Thanks for rubbing my chipotle burrito bowl. I needed help with the digestion." (This one works best when you aren't really showing yet).

*Reaches out and rubs their belly in return* 

"I've tried that too, but no Genie ever appears. Rude."

*KARATE CHOP* Ok, so I never did this one, but I definitely jerked away if the belly rubber was a total stranger.

2. You are not allowed to complain about anything.

I mean, you can try, but you are not likely to get the sympathy or help you are looking for. Here are some of the gems I got when I dared to complain.

"Pregnancy is such a beautiful time! Don't waste it complaining about [heart burn, aching back, nerve pain, rib displacement, constant need to pee, whatever ails ya']." I suppose I will just suffer in silence. Next time you get a hot flash, I'll remind you that this a beautiful season of your life (you are about to have no more periods!) and you shouldn't waste it complaining about your menopause symptoms.

(That obviously only works when it is a middle aged woman. You can try it on a dude I suppose, but don't expect stellar results).

"You do know what caused this pregnancy, right?" Nope, haven't a clue. Pray, do tell?

3. You will receive a ton of unsolicited, out-dated advice.

And you will have to listen to it. At first, you can try to argue. You can take all your science and research and stand your ground.

It is never worth it. Then you will have to explain yourself a million times and no matter how good of a job you do, the person will always come back with this:

"Well that's how we did it back when I was raising kids, and they all survived."

Yeaaaaaaah. Because the only goal in childrearing is that they don't die. I mean, that is a pretty big one, but I think I would also like my child to thrive with as little mishap as possible.

Your best bet in this situation is to nod and smile. Nod. And. Smile. It will save you so much time and aggravation.

Find more funny on Tumblr

4. Pronouns are about to get super annoying.

"WE'RE PREGNANT!"

"We're expecting!"

No, "we" are not.

We are not experiencing heartburn from hell. We are not waking up every 10 minutes to pee. We are not getting kicks in our ovaries. We are not abstaining from wine, soft cheese, deli meats, and a variety of other foods. We are not waddling. We are not going to feel the pain of labor and delivery.

I AM DAMMIT.

Hilarious images like the above here.

In my husband's defense, he never claimed to be living my pregnancy. Some special snowflakes from the collective human race, however, seem to think this pregnancy thing is a 50/50 experience.

Puh-lease. It is more like 90/10 with the preggo taking on the lion's share (because we are lionesses, remember?).

The whole 50/50 thing doesn't happen until childbirth. Then it is "our" baby. Until then, this pregnancy is mine. Do not diminish my amazing feat of growing a human. I am full of hormones and I will damn well eat you.

Speaking of hormones...

5. Your hormones are out to get you.

You will laugh, cry, and rage within a nanosecond. Hormones are a cruel mistress and turn any sane woman into a nutjob at the drop of a hat.

An example: I made the mistake of watching a clip of a dog watching the end of Homeward Bound when Champ crests the hill and everyone is united. The reunion turned me into a wibbly, sobbing mess. I was so happy that I could not stop crying.

Another example: My husband likes to leave little piles of clothes everywhere. The struggle is real. It irks me when not pregnant. It enraged me while carrying our child. Hell hath no fury like a woman who spots a little pile of clothes next to the hamper, let me tell you. (Spoiler alert: my husband survived the pregnancy.)

Housewives, working wives, all wives know.

Thankfully, upon giving birth, you will cease to be a magical unicorn. You will become a mommy and the only reason people will visit you is to ignore you and hog your baby. Good luck!

---

Note: If you can't tell this is mostly satire, we can't be friends. Just saying.

7 Months Old—World Peace Declared: Tea Party Wins

Wait, what?

Not that kind of Tea Party. The more fun kind with actual tea cups instead of crack pots. Tea parties will most definitely save the world from destruction. Who can be angry when there are sweet baby smiles and tiny tea cups?

She had to get dressed up first

She had to taste the tea cups before she could be certain about her feelings toward them

After much consideration, baby E decided she likes tea parties 

All in all, a successful tea party

Also, baby E is seven months old! She's getting so big :( Why do babies grow up so fast?

Some updates on baby girl:

Food Likes: Sweet potatoes, prunes, squash, chicken and rice
Food Dislikes: Peas, bananas
New Activities: Drinking from a sippy cup, scooting around the house backwards on her tummy, trying to crawl, trying to feed herself

She is a little chatter box now too. Always babbling away about (I assume) her grand adventures. She says mama when she is upset and wants to be held/fed and she said dada once.

She's been teething for months, but it has kicked into overdrive. Excessive drooling, biting, gumming of anything she can get her hands on, etc. It gives her some super grumps by the end of the day. Poor baby :(

We also got her ears pierced (as you can see in the tea party pictures). She did not like that one little bit, but now she doesn't notice they exist.

She's recently discovered the cat. I'm pleasantly surprised by how well behaved Nona is with her. Nona is a giant scaredy cat and usually hisses and runs away when she gets scared. Nona made the mistake of wandering up to E and sticking her butt in her face (how nice, Nona). E immediately grabbed a fistfull of fur in one hand and Nona's tail in her other. It only took a few seconds for me to disentngle the two, but Nona sat calm as could be through the whole thing.

Speaking of cats, there is a stray orange cat that wanders the neighborhood. It's very friendly and comes up to the house when I call Nona in at night. It tries to come in our house actually, it's cute and kind of sad. I asked around assuming someone owned it, but I was told it's a stray. I haven't seen it in a few days, so I'm hoping somebody took him in.

House Update

This last month has been insane and it is finally winding down. Hubs got home in mid July and then we went on vacation and visited family for the last half of August. Then we sold our car, got a rental, moved across the country, bought a new car, found a house, and moved in over the course of a week.

E did about as well as could be expected on a cross-country journey. Nona hated it and let us know her feelings the entire journey.

The house is unpacked, but we still need to hang up photos and curtains in some rooms. It is a 5 bedroom 3 bathroom house, so we have plenty of room for visitors. Here are some pictures supplied by the realty company.

Front of the house

Main living area upstairs. 

Kitchen

Dining area in kitchen.

Stairs down to basement.

Basement living area.

Different view of basement living area.

This is a picture I took from the backdoor in the kitchen.

It's so nice to finally live in civilization again. Camp Lejeune was a hole. In our new home we are three miles from a major shopping center, 8 miles from another ridiculously oversized shopping center, and fifteen minutes from hiking trails. This location is a vast improvement over our last, but it has the major drawback of being on the other side of the country from the bulk of our family.